How to become a child friend
- Parent and friend: similarities and differences
- Respect your child: give him the right to choose and be honest with him.
- Spend more time with your child.
- Listen to the child, try to understand him and support him in any situation.
- Encourage your child’s ideas and praise him for them.
- Justify and explain all bans
All moms and dads want the child to perceive them not only as parents, but also as friends: he could share his feelings and feelings and frankly talk about what is happening to him. “I am a parent” will tell about the difference between and in which parental and friendly roles converge, and how they can be successfully combined.
Parent and friend: similarities and differences
The roles of friend and parent are very similar. Both friendly and parental relations imply mutual respect and trust. Friends are always ready to listen, offer solutions to existing problems and give advice. But at the same time, a friend is not responsible for our health and safety, since this role is a priori assigned to moms and dads. Parents will never offer a child to embark on a risky adventure or to try alcohol for the first time at a party, unlike friends who are capable of it without realizing the possible risk. How can you combine both roles in the process of education without rushing to extremes and without losing parental authority? Let's see.
Respect your child: give him the right to choose and be honest with him.
Respect your child: give him the right to choose and be honest with him, mutual respect is the first key to becoming a friend to your child. To respect means to give the child the right to his own opinion. As you are interested in the opinion of a spouse, spouse, or other family members - also be interested in the opinion of the child It is not so important what exactly it is about: planning a vacation location or choosing a dish that you will prepare for a gala dinner. Give your child the opportunity to voice his point of view and take it into account.
However, mutual respect is not limited to the right to own opinion only. There is also honesty - an important attribute of sincere friendship. When close people hide something from us, it becomes unpleasant for us, so before hiding something from your child, think: what would you feel being in his place?
Mutual respect also includes respect for the interests and the right to choose another person. You will not stop communicating with your friend, who loves fishing, even if you yourself, being in nature, prefer to pick mushrooms? You can become a friend for your child only by giving him the right to make an independent choice (of course, within the limits of what is permitted). If you want to give the child to boxing, and he is delighted with the dance, go to the concession and allow him to choose the circle in which he will really go with pleasure, and not under duress.
Spend more time with your child.
Nothing brings parents and children together like pastime. Mom or dad, spending all evenings at the computer and leaving the child to go about their business alone, can never become true friends for him, because friendship is, in addition to mutual respect, also the time that friends spend together. We are talking here not only about games, but also about other types of family leisure: joint walks in the park, trips out of town for picnics, visiting interesting exhibitions and theatrical performances, cycling, rollerblading or skating, watching good films, cooking a festive dinner and many others. All this can bring you together and make your relationship more friendly and trusting.
Listen to the child, try to understand him and support him in any situation.
What else is the friendship? Agree that a friend for us adults is first of all a person who is able to listen to us in difficult times, to give support, to give good advice. Similarly, you need to treat the difficult situations in the life of your own child, if you want to become a friend for him. Even if his problems seem insignificant to you, you should not “brush off” them or say “figure it out yourself.” Listen to the child when he wants to tell you something, delve into his experiences, support and help to understand the situation. Only then will he begin to trust you.
When our friends look upset or anxious, we always pay attention to this and ask what happened. Therefore, if a child looks offended or angry, ask what caused his discontent, start the conversation yourself - do not wait for him to come and tell you everything. It is worth doing this and when the children rejoice in something: ask what made the child laugh or lift him up. Let him get used to sharing with you not only problems, but also positive emotions. Only under such conditions is true spiritual intimacy possible.
Encourage your child’s ideas and praise him for them.
Each of us has come across a situation where we have an idea and we are in a hurry to share it with our friends, because friendly approval and support make goal achievement more realistic. Friends give us the strength to carry out our plans, thanks to them we feel a special inspiration, we are ready to act decisively, while the lack of understanding of others as if it slows us down and drives us into a stupor. To become for your child not only a parent, but also a friend, encourage his aspirations and ideas, praise his rational ideas. Even if the child’s desires look too fantastic, don’t scoff at him and don’t call him a dreamer, it’s better to just talk to the kid and explain why his idea is difficult or impossible to bring to life.
Justify and explain all bans
Finally, we come to another important rule. Remember that you are responsible for the life, health and future character of your child, which means that certain prohibitions still exist. A parent-friend is not the person who permits his child to return unaccompanied from guests late at night, or allows them to “sweep” all the toys in the store off the shelves. A parent-friend is someone who explains why you should not do this. The key word here is explain. When you just say a categorical “no” or “no”, the child thinks that you are trying to show your parental authority in this way or are doing so simply “out of harm”. therefore bans must always be justified. If you just pulled the child's hand from the hot pan - explain to him why you did it. And so it is worth doing with every ban, even if you do not want to indulge in lengthy explanations. Only then a child from the first years of life will understand that a certain prohibition is not your personal whim, but a way to ensure his safety or the result of life circumstances.
Observing the above rules, you can become for your child not only loving and understanding parents, but also real, close friends that he will be proud of and will trust.How can you combine both roles in the process of education without rushing to extremes and without losing parental authority?
When close people hide something from us, it becomes unpleasant for us, so before hiding something from your child, think: what would you feel being in his place?
You will not stop communicating with your friend, who loves fishing, even if you yourself, being in nature, prefer to pick mushrooms?
What else is the friendship?